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Finding the Answer for MyselfI am loved by love which knows no measure. I am chosen before the foundation of the world. I am predestinated to be a son of God, for His purpose (Ephesians 1:4-5). The Lord's mercy reached me, even when I took it for granted. It was a blessing to be born into a Christian family. My parents' fervent love for the Lord and the church has always impressed me. I grew up happily among all the believers and enjoyed the sweetness of life with the local church. To me, it was simply a way of life my parents chose to live. I followed willingly until my late-teen years. As an inquisitive person, I asked myself the question: why am I here? Being ever stubborn and not willing to take others' word as it is, I set out to find an answer by myself and for myself. I inquired of the Lord, “Why was I chosen? Why do You love me when I don't love You? Why am I here meeting with the local church?” The fact that my parents have chosen this way, is not sufficient for me to continue meeting with the local church. I desperately asked the Lord to reveal Himself to me in the local church; otherwise, as I put it, “I am outta here.” My quest began. Meanwhile, I was pursuing a degree at a university. There I observed all manner of people around. It was a time of life when people explore and seek education, friends, love and fun hoping to get more fame and fortune in the years ahead. The more I watched, the more I grew unsatisfied with human life. It struck me that everything on earth was temporal and will pass away. I became increasingly empty, not satisfied with anything and could not find a good reason to continue my life. One afternoon, as I was lying on my bed, the sense of vanity overwhelmed me. I became angry with God and myself. I blamed God for having me born and not satisfying me with something on this earth. “What is the use of living,” I cried. As a ray of sun pierced through my room, the Lord revealed Himself to me. The pain He suffered, the cross He took, and the death He tasted for me became very clear. God loves me so much, even when I take Him for granted, He still loves me, and washes me of my sins. If it weren't for His love and mercy, I would not exist. I wept and repented, realizing God has created me with a purpose. Christa Chuang | Back to List |
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